The Moment I Found My Power: How Embodied Presence Became My Way Back to Trust

There are seasons in life when everything feels uncertain.
Money is tight.
Relationships wobble.
Your purpose feels far away.
And even with years of spiritual work behind you, your nervous system feels like it’s outrunning you.

I’ve been living in that liminal space for a while.
It’s uncomfortable. It’s disorienting. It’s lonely.

But recently, something unexpected happened. It was something so simple it surprised me:

I found the doorway back to myself.
Not through ceremony, or meditation, or a breakthrough moment…
but through a few quiet seconds of embodied presence.

And it changed everything.

What Presence Actually Feels Like

I’ve been hearing about presence for two decades.
I teach presence.
I talk about presence in ceremony.

But until now, I hadn’t truly understood how it felt it in my body.

A few days ago, I dropped into presence (I was just looking for a 2% improvement) and my whole nervous system softened.

In that tiny moment…

•           the fear wasn’t there

•           the scarcity wasn’t there

•           the future wasn’t looming

•           the past wasn’t echoing

There was only me.
Here.
Now.

Quiet.
Soft.
Relieved… WOW

And from that place, something extraordinary became clear:

My fear doesn’t exist in the present moment.

Fear lives in the future.
Shame lives in the past.
But presence lives right here.

And presence is the only place where safety is actually possible.

Presence Is the Doorway, Not the Destination

In ceremony, we touch states of:

•           deep trust

•           surrender

•           bliss

•           divine connection

Those experiences feel profound because the medicine creates a temporary environment where fear can’t survive.

But here’s what I finally understood:

Ceremony didn’t create those states; presence allowed me to feel them.

Presence is the access point.

The sequence looks like this:

Presence → Safety → Trust → Surrender → Freedom

Most of us try to enter through the back door — we chase trust, or bliss, or surrender.

But everything begins with presence.

Presence is your nervous system saying,
“We can rest for a moment. You’re safe enough right now.”

The Parts Who Fear Presence

Of course, the moment I felt relief, another part showed up:

“You always mess this up.”
“You should’ve known this sooner.”
“Don’t lose this feeling.”

IFS reminds us:
these parts aren’t trying to sabotage us. They’re terrified.

Presence threatens the parts of us who learned to survive by:

•           scanning

•           bracing

•           controlling

•           predicting

•           criticizing

•           staying two steps ahead

Presence feels dangerous to parts who believe safety = vigilance.

But presence also gives us a chance to hold those parts with more compassion than they’ve ever known.

Presence doesn’t bypass our wounds.
Presence holds them.

Why Presence Matters for Healing

When I dropped into presence (even briefly) I realized:

•           My fear wasn’t here.

•           My worst-case scenarios weren’t here.

•           My self-judgment wasn’t here.

•           My old beliefs weren’t here.

•           My shame wasn’t here.

Presence was.

And presence is the only environment where healing can actually land.

It’s the place where:

•           trust becomes possible

•           intuition becomes louder

•           aligned action emerges

•           your body feels held

•           your soul speaks clearly

Presence is not passive.
Presence is power.

What Stepping Into My Power Actually Means Now

“Power” used to feel like striving. It felt like pushing, fixing, getting somewhere.

But now, stepping into my power feels like:

•           slowing down

•           listening

•           taking one moment at a time

•           acting from clarity rather than fear

•           collaborating with spirit

•           finding alignment before I move

I’m learning that power isn’t intensity.
Power is presence + choice.

It’s not about force.
It’s about becoming available to the truth inside each moment.

And if I’ve learned anything from this chapter of my life, it’s this:

You don’t have to feel safe to be present.
But presence can make you feel safe.

Even if all you access is 1%. 
That 1% can change everything.

If you'd like a guided version of this practice, a deeper dive into embodied presence, or a workshop built around this teaching, stay tuned …I’m creating something special.